2014

There are many things I left unsaid for 2013.

Many things I chose to not share here.  And I gradually faded away from my online presence, wrapped into a shell of myself.  

2013 was one of the best years of my life.

I married my best friend.

My sister blessed us with a nephew on the Fourth of July.

I chose to follow my dreams and enroll in cosmetology school in October.

But amidst these moments of bliss, there was a LOT of heartache.

I lost two of my uncles over summer 2013, and I retreated into the black hole of my self that I found in 2007 after the death of my grandfather.

Prior to my grandfather's passing, I hadn't come very close to death.

I had no coping mechanisms.

I still struggle with my grief and reactions in situations like these.  The tears always come later.

In addition to losing my family members, the mother of one of my husband's best friends (and if we're going to be honest, the mother of several of our best friends, because that whole family is a package deal) passed away shortly after Christmas.  It was not an easy thing to deal with, coming so shortly on the heels of losing others I cared so deeply about, and I am struggling with this latest loss as  well.

But a new year brings a chance of hope.

A chance to live to its fullest, and take all opportunity that is thrown my way.

I am already struggling to juggle my new marriage with work, school, and a second "job" (I am now a Tastefully Simple direct sales consultant! YAY!), and I only expect it to get harder before it gets better

But there is always tomorrow...

{via}

Insta-bits

watching friends in my room while making wedding invites - yes, my bedroom is bright pink. yes, that's an owl piggy bank.

and the wedding invites begin!  these aren't the finished ones...you'll see them later ;-)

love.

we're a bit bizarre. also, most comfy hoodie everrr, courtesy of my stepmom in law and american eagle. LOVE it.

gorgeously psychedelic candle from my MIL

his mouth looks HUGE for some reason

the quote from the guy we met with in SEPTEMBER came...in January.  Yeah, we found someplace better. UGH.

snowfall in my backyard. <3

Follow me on instagram!  @dearmisstraci

A little more Coffee Talk

1. What is your winter "must haves"? (Feel free to show off something from Polyvore!)

Ok this is kind of a must have / need to buy list! LOL.  Comfy hoodie, cozy uggs (or as in my house, my "fuggs", fake uggs) cute jewelry, and sparkly nail polish!

Winter comfort by traci-horschel featuring juicy couture

Victoria s Secret zip hoodie
victoriassecret.com

UGG Australia black flat booties
$64 - danielfootwear.com

Juicy couture
juicycouture.com

Nordstrom nail care
nordstrom.com

Tiny Initials necklace Personalized heart jewelry by BeautySpot
etsy.com

2. What is on your Christmas wishlist this year? (I know this has been asked, but I wanna know!)

Ya know, there's always stuff I want {as I've posted before, I am by no means a minimalist and have large tendencies towards hoarding and I'm kind of materialistic}, but I really really just want miracles to happen for other people this year.  After everything my family has gone through in the past couple years with my brother in law's cancer {fyi, I am including his family in with mine, because they are and will always be a part of our family}, and losing my grandmother before that {ok, like 25 years ago, but seriously that still hurts} I just want one of the families I know that is going through this same cancer shit right now to be able to say their loved one is in remission.  Because really, cancer is the devil and it's the most horrible thing I can even think of happening...and I just really want those people I'm thinking of to be ok.

 

3. What is your favorite holiday coffee/tea/alcoholic beverage?

 I am obsessed with mcd's Peppermint Mocha!

4. Top 3 must have holiday desserts?

-My fiance's grandma Marge makes this amazing Grasshopper pie! {mint chocolate - holy yum!}

-My grandma's Apple Pie.

-pumpkin pie!!

5. What time do you get up to open presents from Santa with your family? Do you clean up right away or do you leave it there in a huge pile until it's the night before trash day?

So, I'm 26.  I haven't lived with my parents in like 8 years.  But, every single year, my siblings and I would still spend the night Christmas eve (eventually even with our significant others!) to all open gifts together still first thing Christmas morning.  Then my parents tore down their house to build a bigger one, so the past few years we've all just been meeting up first thing Christmas morning to still do the early morning open gift thing!  This year will be even better because we'll be celebrating my baby nephew's first Christmas!!  And of course, we always have garbage bags ready for wrapping paper.  {we don't get my fiance's daughter for Christmas mornings, so we always celebrate the morning with my family!}

6. What is your New Years resolution?  
To  be happy. 

Linking up with Nat!

...

A few more things...

Did you remember to enter the iPad Mini giveaway?  

No?  You should do it now!  It ends tonight!

I will be posting some fun holiday tutorials in the next week, so stay tuned!!

My fiance and I discovered that Sanford & Sons is on the retro tv station every night....guess what our new night time ritual is??

 

Instagram makes my life seem so cool.

Really, I'm not a very exciting person.

I can usually be found at home on the couch, or making crafty things, or at work.

Or shopping.

But, now that I have an iPhone. Finally. I have become instantly addicted to Instagram.

And it makes my life seem so much cooler than it is.

Or, am I just getting out more now that I have a cool phone with which to share pictures that no one really needs to see anyway?

I may never know...

making peanut blossoms with my love. yummm.



homemade pizzas for my cousin's 6th birthday. my family rocks.




how cute is this hair??  sock bun. hairband from knotieties. bow earrings from sassysteals.



monday night bowling. yeah, that's me with an 84. represent.

delicious iced peppermint mocha from mcd's.  and my amazing betsey johnson bag.  got it @ marshalls.

feeling pretty today



Thanksgiving Weekend!

Well as usual, you're about to see exactly ZERO pictures.

Seriously, I stink at the whole "capturing memories with a camera" thing.

{new year's resolution: a picture a day!}

Here's the rundown:

Thursday - dinner with my fiance's family, then my family later.

Friday - clean like a mad woman in preparation of Saturday.

Saturday - wake  up like a little kid on Christmas morning because I'm so excited to have everyone to my house for my FIRST ever holiday meal at my house.  We had my fiance's mom's family over (his parents are divorced, and that part consists of like 7 people so we all fit in my house haha!) and I was SO nervous!  But as it turns out...I am a really good Thanksgiving food cook!

Sunday - wake up early again to decorate the house with Christmas stuff!

Monday morning - i have a cold.  BOO!

All in all, a very amazing holiday weekend, spent with {almost} all of the people I love the very most.

How did your holiday go?

{PS - I will be posting a recipe with pictures of my amazing Thanksgiving stuffing!!  It was soooooo delish! Can't wait to share with you guys!}

It's almost my BIRTHDAY!

Yup yup yup!

(Only you gotta picture Ducky from The Land Before Time saying it).

 (Seriously?  You're not fluent in Land Before Time?)

(Just go buy it.  It has dinosaurs so it's cool. Promise.)

Anyway.

Yes, indeed, my birthday draws near.

On August 30th, I shall turn 26 years of age.

(This does not make me a mature adult, just so ya know.)

yes, that is me with a huge santa beard and the creepiest "smile" ever.

And in celebration

(and also because I need to clear out my shop of summer stuff so I have a reason to make fall stuff)

I am having a sale in my Etsy shop!

That's right, a sale.  A 20% off sale (which is pretty darn great!)

Just use coupon code BIRTHDAY20 to get the savings :)

So you could get these:

{here}

{here}

{here}

{here}

.....

Ok so this is turning into a really long post but there are a few other things to talk about, so bear with me!

First, I also changed the look of my Etsy shop LolitaRose.  I really simplified the banner because I'm loving the simple look of typography lately, and I added the shop about page.  And biggest of all, my shop now accepts credit card payments directly through the site! No need to bother with Paypal :)

Second, I know I've been slacking on that blog challenge, but I have some posts lined up for this week that should be fairly entertaining.

Third, thank you to everyone who actually reads my crazy little ramblings here. I love you all.

Oh, hello monday.

Today, I am sick.

Yes, again.

Some sort of stomach bug or I ate something weird yesterday...

{probably too many mozzarella sticks}

So at some point this weekend, I realized that I don't fit into my summer clothes anymore.

Like, any of them.

I fit into some of my dresses still (the really loose flowy ones), but shorts?  Tank tops?

Nope.

My cups have started to spilleth overeth.

{that's shakespearian for spilling over the top of everything i own}

via Pintrest, original {here}

I know I've posted here about being happy with myself, and good self esteem and all of that but...

Really, these are size XL clothes for crying out loud.  Size 13 pants?  Really?

I was an 8 in high school and thought *that* was fat.

I tried on one of my old (like high school old) dresses the other day, that was a size 8/10, and it barely fit over one thigh. My thighs are as big around right now as my waist used to be.

There's something seriously wrong with that picture.
And it's all my own doing.  Really, twelve mozzarella sticks at like 7 at night?  AND four peanut butter cookies?  Big ones?  Yeah, no bueno.

I know what stuff I'm supposed to be eating, and the exercise I'm supposed to be getting, but there's this little roadblock I know I keep hitting.  For some reason I just can't stop with the overeating and eating crap food.  I know it makes me feel shittier in the end but...it just feels like I have excuse after excuse to keep being that way.  And I hate myself for it.

So I guess what I'm saying is...
This ends today.
I will not put another piece of junk food in my mouth, until we cut the cake at my wedding.
{with the tiny exception of the tasting, because how on earth will I be able to not?}
This is going to piss me off royally.
No more pop tarts. Potato chips. Candy bars. Popcorn chicken. Ice cream snickers bars.  Chicken fingers in general.  Deep fried stuff period. No pop {soda for non - New Yorkers}, even ginger ale.  No boozey drinks.

I can do this.
One day at a time.
...

{ps - did you enter my giveaway? you should!!}

So tell me, what's your favorite healthy snacky alternative to chips and dip?  Or cupcakes?

The Best Weekend.

Ok, I'm exaggerating greatly.  I've had a migraine on and off since Thursday.

But.

Thursday night I actually took my {soon to be} step daughter to the beach, where we began a very pretty beach glass collection.  And Friday, I found a dress for my engagement pictures, and a shirt for my fiance to wear for them.  (And granted, I *had* already found a dress but...I totally changed my mind once I found the other one.  Ooops.)

& Saturday...was...the day...

Of our Engagement Pictures!!

Clearly I was (still am!) quite excited about them.

We have the BEST PHOTOGRAPHER EVER.

I am not exaggerating.

She is amazing, and anyone who dares to say otherwise will suffer my wrath. Such as it is.

{I did scare my fiance into jumping out of a moving vehicle...but that's a story for another day}

Anyway. I am so excited about the pictures, that I totally snagged some of them from her FB page.

Enjoy.

 

 

 All images are c/o Elizabeth Pellette

So, how was your weekend?

Oh I hate violence, but oh, drugs are bad!

Friday night.

Watching Grandma's Boy.

{I am simultaneously a 15 year old boy, a 16 year old girl, and an 80 year old woman}

Today, in celebration of not winning a single giveaway like...ever, I decided to take myself shopping.

Um, and also get stuff for my sister's baby shower I forgot about before (big shocker - I still forgot some stuff).

So, I went to Target (that's tar-jay if you're fancy) because it's probably my favoritest store in the whole world (totally a word, look it up) (oh you did?  well, you must not have the new fangled dictionary. just roll with it. mmkay?) because I wanted to look for a dress for our upcoming engagement photos.  Needless to say, I didn't get a dress, but still ended up spending close to a cool Benjamin there.  On what you may ask?  Well, this stuff here:

{neon hoodie}

A bright hoodie. Because all but one of my other hoodies have been relegated to being "work" hoodies (meaning they smell like coolant and probably have grease/dust/dirt stains), and this has been taunting me for like a month.  Love.

{the strange case of halestorm}

New Halestorm CD.  True story - I had no idea who this band was til like a week ago.  Then I heard this song on the radio and was in LOVE with this woman's voice.  Hardcore. Like whoa.

And I got some bandaids (due to the foot trauma of this morning...), some allergy meds (for my poor fiance), and the latest Julia Quinn novel (because if I'm not reading the Walking Dead comic books, I'm usually reading historical romance novels...hence the 80 year old woman).

And then I went to WalMart (because ya know, it's not a full day if you don't go to WalMart), for the baby shower stuff I forgot at Target, and ended up with this:

{maybelline color show nail lacquer}

Um, only not purple (though my favorite color, my life is shockingly lacking purple).  I got it in "Keep up the Flame" and "Orange Fix".  LOVE.  I got "Born With It" last week, and loved it so much I needed other colors.  I am in the midst of a bit of a nail polish obsession lately.  {speaking of which, why is it that i decide to do my nails and then immediately think of eight zillion things i need to do, ensuring that at least one (but probably all) of my nails end up messed up because i won't wait for them to dry??}  I think I need to buy "Keep up the Flame" to give to all my bridesmaids, because it's a really awesome red.  Loving it.

You see now how important things I actually need are forgotten about.  I'm like a raccoon.  Easily distracted by pretty or sparkly or shiny things.  And glitter.  I really need to buy some glittered nail polishes soon.  They have really nifty colors right now.

OH!  And I'm still one sale away from 200 in my {Etsy} shop.  Someone help a sistah out, would ya?  I'll throw in something suppperrrrrr special.  Seriously.

Maison sweet maison...

{so, maison totally means house in French}

{so, you'd totally assume I was talking about home sweet home right?}

Nope.  Talking about the most fabulous candle I think I've ever purchased at Marshalls.  Although it totally sucks to buy candles there because then you NEVER find them again.  No bueno.  This particular delicious candle has a label on it of the brand "Maison", and is Raspberry Fizz flavored scented.  And you think I can find it via Google?? Wrong.  So so sad.  Needless to say, if someone works internet magic and finds it for me, we're best friends. Like, officially.

Anyway.

My new laptop came.

I convinced my mom that I needed a new one for my birthday (true.  I needed a new one badly, my old one didn't have enough RAM {whatever the heck that is} to run any of my stuff properly), and then HP had a sale and booooosh. New laptop.  Hurray for superbly loving parents.  Thank you mommy.  And also, my birthday is in August if we're keeping track.  Early birthday gifts ftw.

So, now I've finally figured out how to connect to the internet (push the wifi button...duh) and have successfully reinstalled my photoshop actions...we are sooo back in business.  Woot Woot.

Oh and here, just cuz.

{mason jar candles}

{apple blossom candle}

{beeswax candles}

{citrus candle}

Some fabulous candles I intend to purchase from Etsy when I have more in my Paypal account...though I did just buy the Apple Blossom one.  I'll be sure to make you all jealous by talking about how awesome it is when it comes in :)

 

 

Real women have curves.

False.

Real women come in different shapes and sizes.

Not all women were built to be a size 14 or more, just as not all women were built to be a size 0.

Skinny isn't bad.

Chubby isn't bad.

{AsYouWishPrinting}

Real women are healthy.

It's not about your jean size.

It's about how you feel when you wake up in the morning.

It's about learning to love yourself for who you are, not who you think others want you to be.

It's about learning to have confidence in yourself.

{via}

Real women are confident.

Size 20, size 2 - if you're insecure, it shows through.

A woman can be ugly at a size two, and beautiful at a size 20.

It's about attitude.

You can wear all the makeup and expensive clothes in the world, it doesn't cover up ugliness inside.

Be kind.  Inner beauty always shows through.

{mirilovelove}

...

Sometimes, I'm not too sure where my sudden passion comes from.
One day, I'm walking around all complacent and content with everything.
The next, I realize it's time to stand up and say something.

I'm not a size two.  Or a size 6, or even a 12.
I'm a size 14. (Except in my special pants.)
I'm often too large to fit in XL shirts in my favorite stores.
I'm too small to fit into plus sized clothing.
I'm stuck in the world of in-between.

But.
I am Beautiful.
I can say this with with conviction, because I know it to be true.
It's not because of my makeup, or expensive clothes (let's face it, I'm a label whore).
It's not because I've been blessed with a really great complexion, and my hair stylist is amazing.

It's because I have confidence in myself.
It's because I do my best every day to banish negativity from my life.
It's because I try every day to do something nice for someone else.
It's because I truly love myself, and who I am.
Getting there was a long and hard road, and I wouldn't change it for anything.
Every single step along the way, good and bad, have made me into who I am today.

My fiance's constant reassurances that I'm perfect don't hurt either ;-)

I know I'm not *actually* perfect.
I have many flaws.
I'm not always the nicest, most positive person in the world.

But I try to be.
I know that my voice alone can't change the world.

But if one simple thing that I post on the internet, helps one person who might be struggling with their self image, and their self esteem, then I have done my job as a human being to help someone else.
Making a difference can be as small as a smile.