11 December 2012

On being beautiful.

I originally posted a variation of this back in May, when my blog was still tiny (and really, it IS still pretty tiny!) and I keep coming back to this post.  The past few months have been rough for me, and this, my own words, kind of keep me balanced. 

"Real women have curves."

I used to be comforted by this quote.
Never having been a size 2, even in middle school (seriously, that train just straight up missed me!) I was eager to grasp onto the idea that I was prettier than the "skinny girls", by virtue of having boobs.  I was a C cup by the eighth grade!  My sisters were always these skinny little things, and I knew that would never be me.

It took me a long time to realize that real women come in different shapes and sizes.
Not all women were built to be a size 14 or more, just as not all women were built to be a size 0.
Skinny isn't bad.
Chubby isn't bad.

Real women are healthy.
It's not about your jean size.
It's about how you feel when you wake up in the morning.
It's about learning to love yourself for who you are, not who you think others want you to be.
It's about learning to have confidence in yourself.

Real women are confident.
Size 20, size 2 - if you're insecure, or selfish, or catty, or kindhearted, it shows through.
A woman can be ugly at a size two, and beautiful at a size 20.
It's about attitude.
You can wear all the makeup and expensive clothes in the world, it doesn't cover up ugliness inside.
Be kind.  Inner beauty always shows through.


I'm not a size two.  Or a size 6, or even a 12.
I'm a size 14. (Except in my special pants.)
I'm often too large to fit in XL shirts in my favorite stores.
I'm too small to fit into plus sized clothing.
I'm stuck in the world of in-between.

I am Beautiful.
I can say this with with conviction, because I know it to be true.
It's not because of my makeup, or expensive clothes.
It's not because I've been blessed with a really great complexion, and my hair stylist is amazing.

It's because I have confidence in myself.
It's because I do my best every day to banish negativity from my life.
It's because I try every day to do something nice for someone else.
It's because I truly love myself, and who I am.
Getting there was a long and hard road, and I wouldn't change it for anything.
Every single step along the way, good and bad, have made me into who I am today.

My fiance's constant reassurances that I'm perfect don't hurt either ;-)

I know I'm not *actually* perfect.
I have many flaws.
I'm not always the nicest, most positive person in the world.

But I try to be.
I know that my voice alone can't change the world.

But if one simple thing that I post on the internet, helps one person who might be struggling with their self image, and their self esteem, then I have done my job as a human being to help someone else.
Making a difference can be as small as a smile.


Kayla McLemore said...

I love this! Just what I needed this morning. Thank you!
And you are just beautiful!

Traci said...

Ahhh yes! Perfect :)

Robin said...

I like what you wrote about how real women come in all shapes and sizes. I agree. I don't believe that any type of body automatically makes someone a better person.

Lindsay said...

I LOVE THIS POST. I could have written it word for word for word. I, too, was a C cup in middle school. My sister is a skinny little blonde hip-hop dancer -- I'm not. I never was. I never will be. Finding confidence is what it's all about. <3

Jana said...

I'm new to your blog and I love this post! There is nothing more gorgeous than exuding confidence and being comfortable in your own skin. I remember when I was younger I was a stick figure longing for some boobs and a booty! I hated being so small! I eventually realized what you did: it didn't matter what my cup size was, I was beautiful. :)



.E. said...

you are awesome... and beautiful.. and I love that about you.. you are a strong confident woman.. and it shines from you.. I strive to have more of that.. thanks for the reminder.

Taber Turner said...

hey girl,
I love your blog and I nominated you for a liebster award. the questions are at www.tabertime.blogspot.com :]

Anne said...

You come acrross as such a strong and genuine person. Definetely insparational!


Beth W said...

You go, girl! I'm in the exact same boat (as a size 16, but also "in between"). We have to continually work against media influence that only sexually attractive girls are worthy of love (and when I say 'we', I mean ALL women, of all sizes and ages). But you're absolutely correct about inner beauty, and good for you for wearing that confidence!

Sarah Kil said...

Oh girl....You said it so well! :) I love love love this post! So beautiful and you're beautiful! :) Thanks for taking the time to write this post b/c all women (even some men) are struggling with this daily. :)

The Lovely One said...

I need to print this out and post it on my refrigerator!