In a nutshell.

There are about a million things I've wanted to write you about over the last couple of weeks.

I've started posts about my wonderful bridal shower, stressing over wedding plans, even started conjuring up a delicious recipe post.

But my mind simply will not focus on a task.

I've still been struggling with migraines, no matter what I do to try to prevent them.  And they like to come up at the most inconvenient of times.  I think it is very closely related to stress in general.

As I'm already stressing out about wedding stuff {namely, invited guests RSVPing with more than the intended invitees, with no clear cut way to tell them there is no way they can come} an added layer of stress related to money {or lack thereof thanks to my chronic migraines} has decided to crop up as well.  My mind keeps spinning, and there is just no shut off point.

Two weeks ago {or was it just over a week??} my uncle was taken into the hospital due to complications following a hernia surgery {specifically, some idiot nurse in the ER had taken his blood pressure while IV's were in the arm, causing clotting, which in turn had spread and his leg and arm to swell}.  His complications while in the hospital have only just finally come to head, and he will need additional surgery {and a ton of prayers, if you're willing to add him to your list} before he begins to get better, finally.  And all I can do is worry about him as well.  He's only 52, been healthy as a horse all his life... it  is incredibly scary to see someone who's been a constant in your life have to deal with something like that.  

I keep worrying about everything.  Last night I had a nightmare that it was my wedding day {though for some reason I was getting hitched at the food court at the mall...wtf?} and I hadn't gone through the song list with the DJ so nothing was played that I wanted to hear.  And that the cake was delivered in pieces and set on the floor, where it was promptly smashed and I recall threatening to bring litigation to the bakery {no lie, I said that in my dream. yupp}.  If the cake does end up getting smashed in real life, there's not a thing to be done about it anyway.  And there is no way I'd let the DJ show up without knowing what the song lineup was going to be.

Am I just a control freak with no outlets to control things??

But really, am I?