09 October 2012

keep your head up.

For a while now, it seems like I've been miserable and depressed more often than I've been happy and content.  This whole year has been a  roller coaster of extremes.  Between losing loved ones, gaining a nephew, dealing with being the primary money earner, and getting engaged, my emotions are all over the place.

Being an adult is hard.
Staying afloat when you just want to bury your head in the sand is hard.
Dealing with constant stress and anxiety is hard.

I'm sick of this depression hanging over my head.  And it's only bound to get worse as the seasons change and we get even less hours of daylight.

A couple weeks ago, I had a full blown panic attack at the prospect of having my future mother in law over for dinner.  I freaked at my fiance for not checking with me first, because our house was such a mess I was embarassed to have her over.  Now just to be clear, my house is nowhere near being "hoarders" worthy.  There aren't random piles of garbage lying around or anything.  But between my fiance and I, we own a lot of...STUFF.  Between laundry lying about, my scrapbooking supplies, his Heroclix characters, our books & comic books, his daughter's toys & games, DVD's...seriously, the whole damn house seems like it's hit with a friggin tornado half the time.  We have run out of room for our stuff already.  And every day, it's even harder to deal with.  I don't want to live in a trashy house.  I don't want to be embarassed to have people over without notice.  I don't want to have to marathon clean every time I DO have someone come over.  It's friggin' ridiculous.  To top it off, it's only gotten this bad because I went on housework strike over the summer while my fiance was pretty much out of work.  (My logic - if he's not bringing in money, he might as well clean since he's home all day.  In practice - the house is trashed.)

Combined with my failure to lose any weight while I attempted to diet and exercise (yeah, eff that. sweating sucks, i don't care what anyone says.), it makes for one miserable me.

And then, at the end of September, I found this website called FlyLady.
Honestly, reading it...it seems like the most ridiculous thing ever.
Like I need someone to tell me how to clean shit.

But...apparently I do.  And since signing up to be a part of the group...my kitchen is clean every day.  I have so many clean clothes my closet is over flowing. I've gotten rid of at least 3 garbage bags of old and too small clothes (given to Salvation Army).  I've found several Christmas presents I forgot I had (yeah, as in from LAST Christmas. WTF) (also, one was this ziploc vacuum sealer for freezer stuff that I've been searching for for MONTHS because I knew I had one and lost it...arghhh).  AND I've made a nice homecooked dinner for myself and my fiance (and his daughter on the days we get her) every single day.  All of this without feeling stressed out or anything.  I feel happy. Content. Accomplished.

If any of you struggle with housework like I do, I seriously recommend checking out this site.  It is an excellent source of routines, tips, and tricks, and it WORKS.
Seriously.  The whole idea is that your house didn't get dirty in a day, and it won't get clean in a day either.  So each day, you work a bit at a time, and slowly but surely, you establish your routines and before you know it, you're doing things without concious thought and effort.


Elyse Alexandria said...

You are so funny and cute. I was just looking at your picture and thinking, "dang she is adorable." Glad we're bloggy friends (although I have been MIA for the past month, ugh on me!).

And as for that website, I am SO checking it out! I hope it'll work for me too :)

Jana Faith said...

Okay- I have been diagnosed with anxiety. I've never been diagnosed with SADD but I think I have it. I have been so bummed since it's turned cloudy. I need sunlight! I completely relate to so much of this post. I'm glad flylady worked for you. I need to go clean out my dang sink. If I remember correctly, that was the first thing she had people do. Clean the nasty sink. *sigh*. I am so happy to read things are turning around for you with the help of Flylady. Perhaps I should have stuck out the system a little more. Have great day!

Mia said...

hey ♥ I can definitely relate, I actually tried flylady this spring but I didn't stick with it, I did learn some stuff from it, and although I don't exactly have any routines things have been much tidier. Definitely still room for improvement though. I wish we lived closer to one another, I think we have like a lot (almost eerily lol) in common. We should get together for drinks sometime and tell each other how fabulous we are ;) No but really, I just turned 26 and had a total quarter life crisis, like wtf am I doing?!! I think it is normal, I think everyone goes through that "time to be an adult and it sucks" phase- and the winters here are horrid. I want to hibernate at 6:30pm everyday. I'm glad you're feeling better and more in control of things since using flylady's system, feeling stressed and out of control is no good! I saw your post on facebook today and I agree, focusing on the positive and not letting overwhelming virgo perfectionism take over = yay!! ♥

Traci Aerykssen said...

I can relate entirely to the whole having too much stuff. Lately I have taken to selling it on eBay. Makes us a little room in this place till we move and you're right, doing a little bit every day makes things much easier. I started cleaning an hour a day last year and my house has stayed clean even with a toddler running around. Good luck freeing up your space :)