The C-Word.

Pretty much from birth, Cancer has affected my life.

My Grandmother, Nancy, had breast cancer, and passed away just shy of my first birthday.

My brother in law, Paul, passed away merely two months ago from a rare form of testicular cancer.

Paul. My favorite goofball <3

In the last two weeks, I have found out that three more individuals who have been a part of my life have been diagnosed with some form of cancer or another.  Three.

One is one of the most wonderful ladies...I have bowled on a league with her for several years now, and she is a really beautiful person, inside and out. 

One is more of an old acquaintance, who has been diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma, and been going trhough chemotherapy treatments over the past few months.

And the third, is actually the young daughter of a girl I was best friends with in middle school.  She has been diagnosed with Leukemia.

Things like this make me feel so helpless.  Because for a lot more people than we realize, there is no going into remission.  Sometimes they find the masses too late to fix the damage.  And sometimes the treatment doesn't even seem worth the added pain.  

I don't really know what the point of this post is.

I guess I just want to remind people what a horrible thing cancer is.

And to tell you to please, if you ever have the opportunity, please donate to any cause that helps further cancer research, or helps those with cancer and their families.  Causes such as St. Judes and the American Cancer Society.  Places such as Roswell Park Cancer Institute.

And take time to put these families in your prayers.  No one deserves to watch their child or their mother go through the devastation of cancer.

At some point I will come up with some sort of way to raise money for Roswell, which helped my brother in law through his illness, but I don't have any solid plans yet.  I hope you'll all help when the time comes.

<3

About those cupcakes...

Yeah, I totally never made them.

Don't get me wrong, I definitely intended to!  OMGosh can you imagine how yummy they'd be?

But.

When I re-read the tutorial/recipe thingy, I realized...

I don't own a food processor.  Or even a blender.  And one of those is totally necessary to puree the blueberries before putting them in the icing mix.

So I went to Target to find a blender.  Since I have this mocha chip frappe I've never been able to make, due to lack of blender, I figured that'd be a safe thing to buy.

And once I was at Target, I didn't even remember to look at the blenders.

Forreal.

I got totally distracted by cards and books and CD's and clothes.

So no cupcakes.

My omg no cupcakes face. But actually, what my sister and I look like after a really long flight to British Columbia from NY...um yeah, she's always that much tanner than me.  She's like a California girl dropped in the wrong state.

What I did make this weekend (because it turns out that my furnace might require an expensive computer type part that we won't know about entirely until an actual heating person comes to look at it and my house is still cold because mother nature refuses to acknowledge that it's almost May) was definitely delicious though.

Friday night, I made a batch of baked macaroni and cheese.

That's right my friends, home made.

And it was apparently my best mac and cheese EVER.

The fiance even ate it cold and said it was the best ever.

So expect a recipe next time I make it.  Because I took no pictures this time, not realizing the deliciousity it would bring forth.

Saturday I made more brownies from a boxed mix, because I definitely chowed down those other peanut butter brownies. Well, my fiance helped a bit.

Today, I made sausage gravy and biscuits.

Seriously, I'm going to have to start putting recipes up on this thing soon...I am a realllllyyyy good cook.

Case in point, I just made myself super hungry typing all that out.

So, how was ya'lls weekend?

<3

 

I feel naked.

Today, I forgot to put my engagement band back on after putting in hair junk.

Consequently, I feel naked and keep thinking I lost it someplace...not a fun feeling.

I know it's on my bathroom counter. I hope...

Also,  I'm not wearing any makeup today.

Which is pretty normal at work, but I really wanted to put on pink eyeshadow today.

Not really gonna happen when you get out of bed twenty minutes before having to be at work.

{via}

Also, it is the end of April.  And my furnace quit working. (Third time this year, btw.)

Not a big deal, one would think...it's almost May. Plenty warm.

But this is the week it decides to SNOW (okay only Monday but still)

This morning there was ICE on my car.

You can imagine how warm my house is right now.

In an effort to keep my house above freezing temperatures, I've been baking stuff the last couple of nights.

Wednesday, it was pumpkin bread. Yesterday, I made peanut butter fudge brownies.

(Don't get too excited, they were box mixes. Delicious and simple)

(Though I didn't bake the brownies long enough so they're a little gooey)

(Still yummy though)

Today, because it's Friday and I don't do a darn thing with my Friday nights except make pretty things for Etsy, I'm going to attempt a brand spankin' new recipe.

The other day, I came across this amazing looking recipe on JustLove.lyThings (whom I'm sponsoring for the month of April - go check it out!) for Lemon Blueberry Cupcakes.

Forreal.

How delicious does that sound?!?



the recipe



Despite my love of boxed mixes, I am pretty good baker.

So fingers crossed that these turn out correctly!

I will be sure to post pictures tomorrow :)

(unless my kitchen is even messier than I think it is...then it'd be too embarassing)

<3

If our world falls down tomorrow...

Sometimes, when my fiance is sleeping, I like to watch him sleep.

He's so adorable all snuggly and cozy.  And it inevitably leads to me snuggling up next to him, even when I'm supposed to be at work in twenty minutes...

Anyway.

My fiance is the sweetest guy ever.  A couple of years ago, so after we'd been together for a year, I was saying something about not having "a song" with him.  And about a week later, he put on this incredible song by Bayside...probably the sweetest thing I've ever heard.  And he told me how it always makes him think of me, so it should be our song.  (The chorus, when it says "feels like I met you years ago and we're picking up right where we left off"...because we've known each other for 12 years and it took this long to realize we're soulmates) (If you don't believe in soulmates, just pretend and roll with me here. Mmmmmkay?)

And now that we're getting married, it's going to be our wedding song.

Our first dance.

<3

"Landing Feet First"

If our world falls down tomorrow
You be sure I'll be there with a net
To catch the pieces falling
And I was always there
And I was always there
I was always there but you just
never knew where

Ay oh, ay oh, I hope you weren't waiting long
I hope this night makes up for time lost
Ay oh, ay oh, feels like I met you years ago
And we're picking up right where we left off

I've considered what I'd be like
if the ocean poured in
From both of the coasts
And we set sail to find out
Just where our boat would go

But I don't think that I'd want to know
Cuz it would just make time
So I could see your smile
With our brand new life in tow

Ay oh, ay oh, I hope you weren't waiting long
I hope this night makes up for time lost
Ay oh, ay oh, feels like I met you years ago
And we're picking up right where we left off
Right where we left off

And if I'm on the road
For another thousand years or so
I hope you know a part of me is at home
And I traded brick for straw
in the house I built around my heart
So when you came it wouldn't be so tough
No "huff and puff" could dismantle us
No "huff and puff" could dismantle us

Ay oh, ay oh, I hope you weren't waiting long
I hope this night makes up for time lost
Ay oh, ay oh, feels like I met you years ago
And we're picking up right where we left off
Right where we left off

Super Seven.

Linking up with {Gentri Lee} again for 7 questions.  These are ridiculously fun :)

 

 

Today's funny picture (from long lost vacation photos...yeah. I'm good at losing pictures in my hard drive)

 

Oh yupp, you can see right on up them nostrils. Boogies and all. Guhrosss.

 
1. You are stuck somewhere you really don't want to be, do you- walk home, call a friend, or stick it out?

Phone a friend.  I tend to get really anxious in unfamiliar situations, so I've had to do that before.  :-/

2. Do you like to PLAY sports?

I've never been the sporty girl.  I never played anything sports-wise (not even when I was in elementary school or anything!), not even a cheerleader.  I've always been the choir girl with her nose in a book!

3. Everyone has that one "different" song that they secretly love- what's yours?

I'm not really shy about my ridiculous tastes in music - I listen to everything from Garth Brooks to Lil Wayne, no joke.  Um, I suppose the most random song would be Wannabe by the Spice Girls. Yupppp.

4. What is one thing you feel you are really good at?

I am really good at making people smile.  I always try to brighten up people's days, especially when I can tell someone isn't having the best day.

5. A dog is running in your direction and barking loudly- what do you do?

Run like the wind in the opposite direction. Unless it's my sister's gigantic beast of a boxer, in which case I'd let him slobber on me. :)

6. Star gazing or cloud watching?

Star gazing. <3

7. What time of the day do you feel the most productive?

I rarely feel productive, even when I'm being productive.  Sometime in the evenings are when I'm usually busy busy.  

Style.ish.

I wish I had a day job that let me wear cute outfits to work.

Well, technically I could wear cute outfits to work, but since half or more of my day is spent out on the shop floor, digging up missing parts, the cuteness would be ruined forever.  No bueno.

So I pretty much wear jeans and some sort of tshirt that I don't mind getting wrecked every day.

Boring.

If I had a less icky job, I would want to dress like this

{via}

{via}

{via}



I don't really know why I decided to go with these pictures actually - they're like all wearing blazer type things, and I'm not a huge fan of those.

Anyways.

Here are some of my real-life inspirations. 

Cat. One of my bestest friends ever, she is such an amazingly beautiful person, inside and out...and she's always wearing the perfect outfit!!

My sister Nanci (here with her husband Paul - this is from their engagement session), always in the best outfit! Look at the cute denim dress with cowboy boots. Perfection.

And some pretty things I want to buy. ASAP.

BettyFloored

skylinefever

Actually, the pretty lady from the bottom picture is also one of my new style icons.  You can find her blog here {violetbella} and scope out her fantastic style and her awesome shops.

<3

Hmmmpph.

This weekend has been very...weird. It should have been full of happiness and fun, since I spent Friday with my sister at a new scrapbook club, and Saturday was an engagement party for some close friends.

But it wasn't.

I felt like a horrible wreck of a person all weekend. I was fine earlier in the day on Friday, but once we were done with the scrapbook thing, I just wanted to hide. And Saturday was made so much harder by the presence of my fiance's baby mama and husband, which is a weird circumstance altogether. I have no animosity towards her, but her husband and my fiance used to be close friends. So now, when we’re thrown into these situations together, they want to relive the past, and you can tell they both yearn for the friendship that once was. And the truth is, they’ll never have that again. It’s done.
And somewhere in there, in between the awkwardness and the forced happiness and trying to pretend I'm not jealous of where others are in their lives, I lost myself a bit.  I just fell down into this rabbit hole of my own made up misery, and now can't seem to pull myself back up.

There are just some times when you need to wallow.  Without being sad, we'd never realize what happiness is.

So for today, I will allow myself the sadness.  Tomorrow is another day. 

Rain in London

Somebody...

Linking up for Send Something Good!  I am so excited to participate in this :)

Loves:

Pretty stationery. Floral print anything. Purple. Octopuses (or octopi?). Dahlias. Lovely photography. Rockabilly. Typography prints. Owls. Rainbows. Everything 50’s. Daisies. Music. Zombies. The sea. All things British. Tattoos. Teal. Etsy. Fun makeup. Vintage! Fabrics. Shiny things. Hearts. Tea. Poppies. Flashlights. All fishes (especially goldfish!). Bright colors. Sugar skulls.



PearentheticalPress



{via}

{via}

Not so much:

I have a severe phobia of rodents, bunnies, and the dark (hence the love of flashlights!). Clowns. The circus. Zoos. & Aquariums. (I have this thing about animals being in captivity…I know some of those places do good things to help preserve wildlife but its still a thing).

My favorite band is Atreyu.  It’s funny, of all the music I listen to (and it encompasses EVERY genre!), for some reason they just touch my heart.  In one of their CD sleeves, the singer writes this line about what he’s learned in life…”Do what makes your soul happy.”  It’s one of my favorite quotes, and something I try to remember to keep myself in a positive state of mind when life takes its nasty turns.

Atreyu {via}

Current playlist (or, songs I’m listening to constantly this week)

U Can’t Touch This (MC Hammer)

Somebody That I Used to Know (Gotye)

Isn’t it Obvious (Pentimento)

Why Don’t We Just Dance (Josh Turner)

Tom Sawyer (Rush)

Linking up to Something Good with these lovely ladie :)

Gentri Lee

isavirtue

GastronomicalSovereignty

777

Linking up again to GentriLee's 7 questions!

I love these. So much fun, and a great way to share bits of myself with you.

Um. Yeah, I have nooo idea what this is...I think I might have been moving the camera and accidentally snapped it. Attractiveeee.

 7 Questions:
1. What is your favorite App? (even if you don't have a smart phone I'm sure you've played around with someone else's)

Yeah, I haven't actually played with anyone's apps, and don't have my own cool cellular device...well I do but not a nifty one with apps.  Can you believe it?  Craziness. 

2. You have to come up with a book title on the spot- what is it? (don't think- just say!)

Boogie Shoes.

Um. I'm watching Glee right now and that's the song they're singing. 

It'd be a fun book!

 
3. You are given the choice between laughing at everything- always, or never being able to laugh again. Which would you choose?

Laughing at everything.  I already giggle at the drop of a hat, so it wouldn't be that much of a stretch!

Besides, laughter is contagious. In the best way.

4. What natural disaster scares you the most? (tornado, hurricane, earthquake, flood, etc)

Probably a tie between tornado and earthquake.  Because I live in WNY and those are the two that could actually happen, but haven't, historically speaking, been a problem (like tornadoes in the Midwest or earthquakes in Cali).  Did you know there's actually a major fault line below a nuclear power plant near NYC?  YUPP.  & as for tornadoes...I hate that I am actually at an age now where people I care about in the Midwest and I always pray they're safe during those things! (Luckily, they have been!)

5. What time do you wake up each day? What time do you go to sleep?

I wake up around 630 ish in the morning.  Usually. Or one in the afternoon on lazy weekend days. I don't generally fall asleep before midnight though.

6. (question courtesy of Katie from http://marriedtoredwhiteandblue.blogspot.com/) Who's your daddy, and what does he do?

First of all, Kindergarten Cop is one of my all time favorite movies.  Yupp. I love me some Arnold, yes, even now after the whole scandal with his adulterous behaviour. Can't help it.  

Secondly, my daddy's name is Lou.  He is a business owner. He is one of the greatest men that ever existed.  (and also probably why I love Arnold so much...I grew up on his action movies! haha)

7. What's the craziest dream you've ever had? (like an actual dream- while you were sleeping)

I had this dream once, that everything in my town had turned into something from Mad Max, like a weird post apocalyptic town.  And for some reason, the school was held in the Walmart. And all the roads were mud, and you had to drag race through them in these great old hot rods to get anywhere.  You couldn't go ANYWHERE without drag racing. So bizarre. I'm not into cars or anything like that...and I've never even actually watched Mad Max.

<3 

Summer Style

I don't like to post too often about my little Etsy shop.

But here are some of my new designs for Summer 2012! I am so excited about these new pieces, especially since I found a pretty filter in Photoshop to make them look positively dreamy!

Feast your eyes:



All of these can be found here

LolitaRose

Five. Lovely. Things.

Even though this has been a weird week, there have been so many wonderful things to celebrate.  I hate feeling all keyed up and anxious when I'm not sure of the cause, and that's exactly how this week has been.  Luckily for me, my wonderful fiance is quite used to my craziness by now, so he's been there with various sarcastic comments to perk my mood back up.

Five lovely things to be thankful for.

1: Wednesday was my daddy's birthday!  We got to go out to one of my favorite dinner places for the celebration, and got to have a really interesting conversation with my dad about his birthday gift, which he insisted was sexy underwear before opening it... (It was actually this picture, in a nice frame) He is so weird.

Me & dad, getting ready before my sister Kelli's wedding.

2:  Last week, I was lucky enough to get in on a special that was going on on KnotieTies Facebook page, and snagged some of her awesome hair bands for myself!!  Yes, I do get ridiculously excited over simple purchases, but I just adore these.  Seriously. 

KnotieTies

3: So I already mentioned how my fiance is the greatest guy on the planet right?  Well, he's so awesome, he used his GameStop power up rewards points (yeah, apparently they have this program in which you get prizes for having a lot of points?) to buy ME this.  And OMG I'm still super excited about it.

That is "I Heart Zombies", not "I Heart Head".

4: Getting to hang out with my mom, sisters, and aunt on Friday night.  Sometimes I just need a girl's night, and it's so great to be with some of my favorite people when the need strikes.

My mom, covering my face, Kelli, and Nanci in front. NYC, 2010. <3

5: More orders in my Etsy shop!  I would really like to be a stay at home mom eventually, if the man and I have children of our own (or if some circumstance arises leaving us with full custody of his daughter), and if I can get my shop to really take off, it'd be a nice second income for us...but that'll be awhile coming :)  But for now, every little sale helps a LOT!

Find these in my Etsy shop. <3

What are you thankful for this week?

Playin' footsie.

Um, I just really like my feet.

Mostly ever since I got that ridiculously painful tattoo and it's been cooped up all winter long...isn't it cute?

And those shoes!  Totes adorbs.  And cheap (like $9 at AJ Wright before they went belly up and I still had a discount from working @ Marshalls, which is thankfully still open).

Anyway, it's Sunday, and there is (also thankfully) a Sandra Bullock mini marathon on FX.

Do you know how much I adore Sandra Bullock?  Well, it's a LOT.

Especially as right now, it's The Proposal with man candy Ryan Reynolds.

Whom I would very much like to play footsie with.  Yummy yum yum.

Ahem. Anywayyy.

What's your sleepy Sunday full of?

<3

Every mile, a memory.

Hey bro.

I miss you. But you probably already knew that.  I could say that only the good die young, but it’s a bit cliché at this point.  But it’s true.

How’s it up there in Heaven?  I hope you get to go golfing every day.  And snowboarding.  Oh! And I bet you can do all sorts of awesome tricks on your crotch rocket up there too, can’t you?  Especially since you’ll only fall into clouds if you do fall. 

 

The Sabres didn’t make it to the playoffs again.  They were neck in neck with the Capitols, but of course they screwed it up at the last minute, like all the Buffalo teams do.  

We went out to dinner with your parents and my dad on Wednesday, for his birthday and their anniversary.  It was you that made it snow that day, didn’t you?  Just because you could.

Oh, and Weston and I are getting hitched finally.  It sucks that you’ll miss out on that bachelor party.  With my brothers as some of the groomsmen, it’s sure to be an awesome spectacle.

I love you.

I miss you.

I hope you’re having fun.

...

On February 14, 2012, my brother in law Paul lost his battle with cancer.
What he went through was horrible, painful, and something I would not wish on my greatest enemy.
But every day, he had a smile on his face and a joke.  
Every day, we lived with Hope.
Every day, we prayed a little harder, even when Hope moved further and further away.

Take time to tell the people you love, that you love them.
Make sure you take time to hug those closest to you, because you never know what moment with them will be your last.
You never know what tomorrow is going to bring.
You never know which "i love you" will mean the most.